BBW is no substitute for a shower

Can we just rally and get rid of Bath & Body Work Body Spray?  I mean they are so pungent and not flattering. Wear deodorant or spend money on good perfume... rather than smelling like pears, raspberry, or vanilla.  And not to mention the odor wafts in front of, behind and all around you.

Vegetarian

Bumper Sticker:  "Vegetarian... Old Indian word for Poor Hunter"

Draw the line

Why do people insist on drawing in their eyebrows?  A) not usually a natural shape, B) not a natural color, and C) you look weird/like a chola.  I guess you can pre-draw your expression... surprised, angry, sad, etc.

Dolphins are special

Is it just me, or does the Miami Dolphins logo look like the Dolphin is wearing a special-ed helmet?

Probably just makes me a bad person. Oh well. 

Stunner Shades

Why do people where sunglasses  inside or at night? Get over yourselves.

Tweety

Dear guy in lifted truck next to me, your tweety bird steering wheel cover discredits any masculinity you might have had.  Xoxo, Sidney

Street Fair Rules

When in a situation like a street fair, or crowded public place with limited walking areas, why do people feel the need to bring things that create a human traffic nightmare.

Items include:

• Dogs (don't bring your big ass dog to the street fair to be in my way) - Kids stop immediately to pet the thing... or run away crying
• Strollers - this is why we have bjorns.  Strollers are big, bulky, hit your ankles and cannot exceed speeds above grandma pace (not sure why).
• Dogs in strollers - no explanation necessary
• Bicycles - Bikes are made for the street and bike lanes, not to be walked through the 3 foot isle between booths. This is why we have bike racks and locks.  And you ride a bike, not walk it.

So if people could stop doing the above things, maybe people wouldn't hate crowds so much.

Laundry

My neighbors, who's garage is below my bedroom, decide laundry should only be done after 10:30pm. Seriously??

It's hard to fall asleep to your clothes spinning in the wash or something with a metallic button banging around in the dryer.

Do I confront them? They likely have no idea because they can't hear it in their condo.  And, do I want to start a noise complaint war?

No Christmas Love

There is no Christmas-cup-love for the Starbucks iced beverage drinkers.  It's not fair.  Cold Christmas cups should be part of the collection, just sayin'

In memory

Sticker seen today "in memory of my fatty whore"

So touching.

Ring Ring

Why are there bums with cell phones? Who do they call? How do they pay for said phone? Where do they plug it in to charge it? Do they have facebooks to update?

FB: Bruce the Bum is... On the corner of 1st asking for change

Or maybe they check in on foursquare. Ha.

Dizzy

This is quite the "wallpaper". Any visible wall space is covered, straight up to the ceiling.

Do you think she's a Miley fan?

Loot

Am I (a) moving or (b) just finishing robbing a house? I bet the question might have been posed had I been pulled over.

Jersey

Why do people wear jerseys for teams that aren't playing in that particular game? If the Chargers and the Cardinals are playing, nobody cares that you are a Dolphin fan, you look retarded.

Pirate Hookers

Those are not appropriate outfits for a football game! You look like retards.

UPS fail

Is this less obvious than the on top of doormat alternative? Nobody will see it now!

Pigtails

Be might be a natural fire crotch, you never know

Salty

This would kill me

Tequila goggles

For the loss!

Man sweater

Look past Caitlyn. You can't miss his extra layers

Oh Mom

Best/Worst

She is the best jello shot helper. Mixes, lines up cups and is also our quality control for taste. Is that bad?

Who would buy those?

Or who would actually sell them to anyone. It should be noted that she wears something equally as hideous everyday.  Maybe we need to call in Stacy London??

PLAJA Day

Park like a jack ass day. Thanks for participating!

Pretty sure we all disagree

It took a lot of self control for some of us USDers to not key your car.  But we'll call State and check to see if they're on board. Good luck?

I was a little distracted in class

Class/work really get in the way of happy hour. No wonder they think accountants aren't happy.

25 cent crap shoot

This is your prize from the machine in the ladies room at a dive bar in Bonsall. Should you even be surprised.

A prize to my reader with the best caption!!!

well hello, its nice to meet your twins

What would you do if your next meeting notice said that was the required dress? Embrace? Rebel?

Second amendment ftw

Planter fail

Ladies room planter ftl.

Chubby

(see line 3)

What is one? And who orders that??

Naw realllllyyyy

Will they please develop a sarcasm font already???

Don't worry, I've got one!

I may or may not have purchased a bag similar in size and usefulness as Mary Poppin's bag...

Make fun of me all you want - until you need something that I happen to have in my mini-suitcase of a bag!

Knock Knock

So I have a love/hate relationship with my cube's proximity to the door... it's great to sneak in and out from because you walk past nobody.... but the downside is whenever a rando (ok not rando - we have too much security for that), but someone without access to our floor tries to get in and fails - I have to get up and answer their knocks.

Part of my instinctively wants to yell "coming" after their knock and I'm walking to greet them... 

"Ms. Taylor's desk, how can I assist you"

How many more rungs do I have to climb on this corporate ladder before I get my own assistant.  I'd even be happy to share one.

I'll be generous at Christmas and their Birthday... is it too much to ask?  Or if any one wants to take a stab at it pro-bono, I'll be glad to let you test out your skills.

Anyone?? No one? :(

Crown Vic

Why do cops and cabbies both rock a crown Vic? That might be confusing after a few drinks, just sayin'.

ATM

Why do ATM's boast they are open 24 hours? I've never seen one 'closed'. Isn't automatic indicative of the fact that no banker is required, thus not needing bankers hours?

Mergers

Why do some people think you can merge onto a freeway at 30mph? They screw everyone with this tactic.

In the way

Why do people take up the whole sidewalk when they walk in front of you? And walk slowly! Can't they sense me trying to get somewhere as they lollygag in front of me?

CSM

Today someone referred to San Marcos as "Cabo San Marcos". I like the ring that has, i'm going with it also. Do you think my mail would still arrive if that's the city people addressed it to?

11:11

Does anyone else wish when they see the clock read 11:11?

Or is it just me?

Crying

 So Facebook has a million pages you can "like"... today I saw "Someone crying doesn't mean weakness, it means they've been strong for too long".

I like that logic, so I'm going to go with it. :)

Weird

Is it weird that I'm super excited for my new washer and dryer?

Wish I didn't have to wait a week for them.

About time

The football season commences tomorrow.  Hooray!

Let's see some good games and Charger's victory!

Also, why can't football last a little bit longer - maybe take some time away from baseball and basketball which seem to go on for an eternity.  Who needs/wants 162 regular season games anyways (cough cough baseball)?!

Timing

Why do you realize AFTER you've started a journey somewhere that you should have peed before you left?

And by then its just become a great inconvenience.

Sense-less

I think sight would be the worst sense to lose.

Agree? Or is something worse in your eyes (hah)

Classy

License plate frame of the day "my other ride.. Is your dad"

Wow.

Focus

A Ford Focus will never be a race car no matter how hard you try.  Exhaust, body kit, spoiler.... they all don't help, except for making you look retarded.

Miata

No man will ever look cool in a Miata. Mazda shouldn't be allowed to sell one to a man. Actually I don't think women can look cool in them either.