Tweety

Dear guy in lifted truck next to me, your tweety bird steering wheel cover discredits any masculinity you might have had.  Xoxo, Sidney

Street Fair Rules

When in a situation like a street fair, or crowded public place with limited walking areas, why do people feel the need to bring things that create a human traffic nightmare.

Items include:

• Dogs (don't bring your big ass dog to the street fair to be in my way) - Kids stop immediately to pet the thing... or run away crying
• Strollers - this is why we have bjorns.  Strollers are big, bulky, hit your ankles and cannot exceed speeds above grandma pace (not sure why).
• Dogs in strollers - no explanation necessary
• Bicycles - Bikes are made for the street and bike lanes, not to be walked through the 3 foot isle between booths. This is why we have bike racks and locks.  And you ride a bike, not walk it.

So if people could stop doing the above things, maybe people wouldn't hate crowds so much.

Laundry

My neighbors, who's garage is below my bedroom, decide laundry should only be done after 10:30pm. Seriously??

It's hard to fall asleep to your clothes spinning in the wash or something with a metallic button banging around in the dryer.

Do I confront them? They likely have no idea because they can't hear it in their condo.  And, do I want to start a noise complaint war?

No Christmas Love

There is no Christmas-cup-love for the Starbucks iced beverage drinkers.  It's not fair.  Cold Christmas cups should be part of the collection, just sayin'

In memory

Sticker seen today "in memory of my fatty whore"

So touching.

Ring Ring

Why are there bums with cell phones? Who do they call? How do they pay for said phone? Where do they plug it in to charge it? Do they have facebooks to update?

FB: Bruce the Bum is... On the corner of 1st asking for change

Or maybe they check in on foursquare. Ha.

Dizzy

This is quite the "wallpaper". Any visible wall space is covered, straight up to the ceiling.

Do you think she's a Miley fan?

Loot

Am I (a) moving or (b) just finishing robbing a house? I bet the question might have been posed had I been pulled over.

Jersey

Why do people wear jerseys for teams that aren't playing in that particular game? If the Chargers and the Cardinals are playing, nobody cares that you are a Dolphin fan, you look retarded.

Pirate Hookers

Those are not appropriate outfits for a football game! You look like retards.

UPS fail

Is this less obvious than the on top of doormat alternative? Nobody will see it now!

Pigtails

Be might be a natural fire crotch, you never know

Salty

This would kill me

Tequila goggles

For the loss!

Man sweater

Look past Caitlyn. You can't miss his extra layers

Oh Mom

Best/Worst

She is the best jello shot helper. Mixes, lines up cups and is also our quality control for taste. Is that bad?

Who would buy those?

Or who would actually sell them to anyone. It should be noted that she wears something equally as hideous everyday.  Maybe we need to call in Stacy London??

PLAJA Day

Park like a jack ass day. Thanks for participating!

Pretty sure we all disagree

It took a lot of self control for some of us USDers to not key your car.  But we'll call State and check to see if they're on board. Good luck?

I was a little distracted in class

Class/work really get in the way of happy hour. No wonder they think accountants aren't happy.

25 cent crap shoot

This is your prize from the machine in the ladies room at a dive bar in Bonsall. Should you even be surprised.

A prize to my reader with the best caption!!!

well hello, its nice to meet your twins

What would you do if your next meeting notice said that was the required dress? Embrace? Rebel?

Second amendment ftw

Planter fail

Ladies room planter ftl.

Chubby

(see line 3)

What is one? And who orders that??

Naw realllllyyyy

Will they please develop a sarcasm font already???

Don't worry, I've got one!

I may or may not have purchased a bag similar in size and usefulness as Mary Poppin's bag...

Make fun of me all you want - until you need something that I happen to have in my mini-suitcase of a bag!

Knock Knock

So I have a love/hate relationship with my cube's proximity to the door... it's great to sneak in and out from because you walk past nobody.... but the downside is whenever a rando (ok not rando - we have too much security for that), but someone without access to our floor tries to get in and fails - I have to get up and answer their knocks.

Part of my instinctively wants to yell "coming" after their knock and I'm walking to greet them... 

"Ms. Taylor's desk, how can I assist you"

How many more rungs do I have to climb on this corporate ladder before I get my own assistant.  I'd even be happy to share one.

I'll be generous at Christmas and their Birthday... is it too much to ask?  Or if any one wants to take a stab at it pro-bono, I'll be glad to let you test out your skills.

Anyone?? No one? :(

Crown Vic

Why do cops and cabbies both rock a crown Vic? That might be confusing after a few drinks, just sayin'.

ATM

Why do ATM's boast they are open 24 hours? I've never seen one 'closed'. Isn't automatic indicative of the fact that no banker is required, thus not needing bankers hours?

Mergers

Why do some people think you can merge onto a freeway at 30mph? They screw everyone with this tactic.

In the way

Why do people take up the whole sidewalk when they walk in front of you? And walk slowly! Can't they sense me trying to get somewhere as they lollygag in front of me?

CSM

Today someone referred to San Marcos as "Cabo San Marcos". I like the ring that has, i'm going with it also. Do you think my mail would still arrive if that's the city people addressed it to?

11:11

Does anyone else wish when they see the clock read 11:11?

Or is it just me?

Crying

 So Facebook has a million pages you can "like"... today I saw "Someone crying doesn't mean weakness, it means they've been strong for too long".

I like that logic, so I'm going to go with it. :)

Weird

Is it weird that I'm super excited for my new washer and dryer?

Wish I didn't have to wait a week for them.

About time

The football season commences tomorrow.  Hooray!

Let's see some good games and Charger's victory!

Also, why can't football last a little bit longer - maybe take some time away from baseball and basketball which seem to go on for an eternity.  Who needs/wants 162 regular season games anyways (cough cough baseball)?!

Timing

Why do you realize AFTER you've started a journey somewhere that you should have peed before you left?

And by then its just become a great inconvenience.

Sense-less

I think sight would be the worst sense to lose.

Agree? Or is something worse in your eyes (hah)

Classy

License plate frame of the day "my other ride.. Is your dad"

Wow.

Focus

A Ford Focus will never be a race car no matter how hard you try.  Exhaust, body kit, spoiler.... they all don't help, except for making you look retarded.

Miata

No man will ever look cool in a Miata. Mazda shouldn't be allowed to sell one to a man. Actually I don't think women can look cool in them either.

Salon?

Why do people feel the need to clip their nails at work??

I thought it was just in my old department, but I was wrong.

Dove Fail

So Dove chocolates give you a nice little message inside, like a fortune cookie...

"Dance to music even if it is only in your head" - fail!  if you dance to music only in your head you look like a crazy person. I suppose I should talk to the voices too?

Oh Mom

My mom loves the Chappelle Show, not that it's not funny, but it's out of the ordinary my mom likes it.

Move Bitch

"Move Bitch, get out the way, get out the way bitch, get out the way.... I'm doin' a hundred on the highway, so if you do the speed limit, get the fuck outta my way.."

Well the point is, why do people think driving in the fast-lane is their God-given right?? It is NOT the lane to go 65, just because you can (yeah yeah speed limit blah blah).  Stay in the slow lane with the trucks for goodness sake.

Enough already

Will someone please tie Michelle Duggar's tubes already? 19 kids is more than enough, and you don't need any more! I mean at this point do they just slide out with ease? It's gotta be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway for Jim Bob.

Naive

Just cause I haven't bought a house, and I may be young doesn't mean I'm a complete moron.  I mean yes, there are parts of the process I may never understand, but your bullshit fees aren't getting past me.  You'll need to justify each and every one of them.  The more you have, the more nit picky I'll get.  Think of it as me auditing you, I mean it's the least you could do when I feel like I'm grabbing my ankles with "Loan origination charges".

Cake only

I don't like the idea of cupcakes as a wedding cake, I may even hate it.  Maybe I'm just too traditional, but it makes it seem like a birthday cake than a wedding cake.  I guess I'm not down with the cupcake craze going on either.  But my cake will be one big cake, not cupcakes.

Here's a tip!

Why are tips expected and even included in things? A tip is earned and shouldn't be expected. You're doing your job, generally not anything extraordinary. And why if you do a shitty job at your job I still feel guilty leaving you a bad tip. What's wrong with that picture?

Stupid Bands

Silly Bands - I don't understand this craze.    Why would you wear a band shaped like something around your wrist like it's cool?

Ding dong

I can't wait to get married... stupid friends tying the knot puts ideas in my head.

Maybe I just want a pretty wedding dress.

Vino

Wine is delicious.  Only negative about moving out is the wine cellar doesn't come with me.  Oh how I'll miss the plentiful and scrumptious stash kept by the parentals.

Mmmm

Skirt steak is delicious.

Is it that bad?

Why do we stay in relationships (friendships and otherwise) that are bad?  Maybe not "bad", but probably not a good idea?

That's the pits. Literally

Bum BO might very well be the worst smell ever. Although tied with urine. Stupid downtown covered in bums. if I give you a dollar will you shower or buy deodorant in lieu of booze? Just once?

I think you're confused

So getting an email regarding a site tour of a local wind farm... we were given the following instruction: "if you have a hard hat, please bring it with you".... you realize this email only went to accountants, right?... I wouldn't say that is part of our issued uniform.... a 10-key perhaps...

In person

Is it easier to tell someone how you feel/have an argument/confrontation not in person because you are less vulnerable?

Can you hear me?

Anyone else unable to scream when necessary in a dream (well nightmare)?  I try, but no sound comes out.  No? Just me?

No I don't want a sample!

Can we just get rid of mall kiosks? They really damper my shopping experience. I don't want a sample of your potion or lotion, nor do I want you to straighten my hair.

Oh well

I can't wait to bedazzle my new jersey.  Probably degrades the player (if they knew), but I like bling-bling.

Time

Is there an amount of time where an apology and/or forgiveness is assumed?  Does it still need to be said?  I think yes.

Decide

"You can be fat and jolly, or skinny and bitchy. But you can't be both!"

Hair

A great hair day makes your day. Just as a bad hair can ruin one.

Free

Why wouldn't you sleep naked?

Burp

Some burps taste really bad.

Like Broccoli, beer and hot dog - not that it will stop me from indulging in them; just an observation.

NOrange

Artificial orange flavor is the worst one... Skittles, runts, starburst sweet tarts, etc.

911

I don't really like the idea of having a stripper, but if I did the only suitable costume would be a firefighter.

Snappin' pics

What I wouldn't do to have a camera implanted in my eyes... you would get to see some great pictures!  (It's just so creepy to pull out the phone and take a picture, it's just too obvious).  I need something more subtle.

Mr. Postman

Snail mail is seriously underrated.  I mean I like the convenience of email and all, but who doesn't love getting stuff in the (real) mail!

Subtle

I like when there is a faint scent of a guy on your pillow. Its calming. Well except if it smells bad. Haha.

Try

If you don't make mistakes, you aren't trying hard enough or challenging yourself.

Goin'

Going comando in dress pants is a new experience.  Not sure I like it.

NYSE vs JS

Don't get me wrong, I love the Jersey Shore, but I'm not sure I think it's appropriate they rang the opening NYSE bell today.  Do they even know what the NYSE is?  I'd like to think there are many more worthy people to start our business morning.

Stained

I hate how red wine stains your teeth.

Hidden disaster

Cops shouldn't be allowed to hide out and wait to catch you speeding. It's cheating.

You had me at hello

I love Jerry Maguire.

Inconvenient

Having a fear of needles would be so inconvenient. Phew for thinking they are no big deal.

Waiting Room

Why when you are the first person to check in and wait for the doctor are you not the first person to be seen by the doctor??

Sober?

Would it kill some people to stay somewhat sober?

In the mood..

...to make bad, but fun decisions.  Yay for irresponsibility.

Just me?

Is it just me or are "Toms" shoes hideous?? They look like old lady house slippers.

Pretty

I wish strapless bras looked as pretty as regular ones, just sayin'

"You look nice today"

To a dress I was debating was a little too low cut from my conservative boss. Win!  For her complaint about my skirt in an interview, she sure gives out a lot of outfit compliments now that I work for her.

Qatlh

Klingon, really?  Why did you make your own super complicated nerd language.

ComicCon

If you are going to invade my city, you all better be wearing totally dorky costumes for me to make fun of.

Ugh

So nauseas.  So over it.

Dontchknow

I forgot how violent Fargo was. But I love the preggo cop, but not the body through the chipper.

L Word

The Real L Word - soooo much drama, and it's kind of annoying.  But I keep watching because I feel obligated to finish the season I started.

Bling

My pseudo SATC Samantha ring makes me happy, not gonna lie.

Roommate

My original plan is not likely to work out.  What to do, what to do.

Lost

I've been looking at this model for 2 days, you'd think I would have mastered it.  Instead I'm only more confused. 46 tabs, clear as mud.

Athletes vs. Gamblers

Why doesn't Las Vegas have any professional teams (football, baseball, basketball).... I mean they have tons of money... maybe they would pay off the refs?  Does Nevada have any teams at all?

Denied

Some people should have pictures available on FB for my viewing.

Ponies

I wish I was at opening day.  Except I need a killer hat.  But I could wear a cute dress and some CFM's. Haha.

Cruisin'

October cruise = paid off.  Now just time to make payments towards my booze fund and ensuring I can get my grey goose on board.  Hollla.

Poof

So glad I spent  wasted time curling my hair today. This mist/rain shot it to hell.  Thanks mother nature.

Sisterly love

License plate frame of the day: Life's a bitch, and so is my sister.
Hahahaha.

Thanks for nothin'

Why are some girls so retarded? They make the rest of us look bad.

Pooh?

Just passed a car with a license plate frame that said "follow me to Pooh Corner". What does that even mean? Like Winnie the Pooh? Why would you buy that let alone have it personalized to say that?

Gold Diggers

So since I'm in a group that build power plants, we're big on commemorative displays - e.g Golden Shovels [everywhere].... so I don't think we've broken ground since the economy tanked and we became all concerned with how we "appear" to the rest of the world (despite our success)... well my point is... will we continue to use golden shovels to break ground or will we switch to the home depot varietal to keep up [er down] with appearances?

Bling

I want a replica of Samantha's ring in the first SATC.  The blingy flower one.  All the "replicas" online look nothing like it.

Ta-Ta's

Do fake boobs feel really different?  Are they more or less appealing for guys?  I mean yeah they are bigger, but do they feel fake and does that change anything?

Four-Eyes

Picking up the new glasses after work.  It's only been two weeks and I have no recollection of what they really looked like.  I don't think they are as hot-librarian-esque as the last ones though.  But I guess we're all in for a surprise, aren't we!

Domestic Goddess

I think I'm going to take up sewing (again)...  probably with the new condo will come crafts!  E.g. a duvet (because I cant find one I like), curtains, pillows.... :-)

The Situation

Might just have to buy myself his up-coming self-help book.  Not that I need to know how to GTL, but I think it will be a hilarious read.  Kind of like the upcoming Jersey Shore season.

Yay Chemicals

Just microwaved my coffee cup (not like a mug, starbucks-esque - but non metal of course).... Based on the fact the glittery background cracked, probably not a good idea.... Wonder if chemicals seeped in.  Mmm Chemicals.

Special Delivery

I'd love to get flowers delivered to work.  But not a singing telegram, no, no, no. Well maybe if it was Christmas and someone was dressed as Buddy the Elf

Peeeeuuuwwwww

Smokers should have a designated elevator.  Just sayin'

Accounting or Finance?

Who would you rather bone? Someone who majored in Accounting or Finance? (Posed by a friend of a friend)

No Popcorn Zone

The bathroom should never smell of popcorn, ever.

Not even at the movies, but especially not at work.

Damn Anniversary Sale

Unsuspectingly attacked in the lingerie department

Missing

Definitely haven't seen my watch since Vegas. I don't remember gambling it away.

Courier

I wonder how much money they make a year. We pay them tons to go 2 blocks. and they do all day cardio.

Case of the Mondays

Exhausted (regretting that late evening nap), but best of all, feeling quite nauseas.  Just fab.

Zzzzzz

The Ambueno train has pulled into the station. All aboard?! Goodnight

Empty Bed

Don't get me wrong, sleeping alone is nice... all the covers, all the pillows, ability to sprawl out... but sometimes I miss someone next to me

Sleep

I wish I was sleeping in my soon-to-be condo tonight,

Food Blog

Maybe I'll write about my cooking in my blog (as opposed to tormenting my facebook followers with status' and pictures)

Cookbooks

I can't wait for my Cooking Illustrated cook books to arrive!!

Time

I hate the way midnight looks on your clock on school work nights.

Julie/Julia

I want to cook something french.  Really going to do the Duck Confit I learned about a few weeks back.  Who's hungry??

More hair

Really beginning to like long(er) hair.  It may take a little longer to do, but it's much more versatile.

Side thought: not sure why these are all about hair.

Long Hair

So my stylist told me the way to land a man is to grow your hair out - so that's what I've been doing wrong all along?

Stupid Curls

Why does one side of your hair curl better than the other?